not cool, mom

let me say first that i am no expert when it comes to mothering. like so many others i gather that it is not just how you roll with the punches, but also your willingness to learn from said punches that will someday earn the title of "great mother". with that said, there are clearly moments where our expert-like precision in raising these little ones could (and really should) be more accurately described as common sense. today i witnessed one of those moments as Bubsy and i were enjoying our fillet o' fishes at McDonalds. that fact that we were even at McDonalds could very well explain my own unfitness as a mother, lol, but it is necessary to set the scene...

SCENE ONE
picture mom and young child. for the sake of the record let's call young one, "queen" and mom.. well. mom. the "queen" was maybe two years old and it was clear from the get-go who was holding the reigns in this relationship. after multiple tries (and therefore multiple evasions) mom convinces "queen" that to obey is clearly her choice. i think mom is just happy she has finally said yes.

with a nonchalant glance "queen" decides the caravan is indeed ready to go. no consult needed, let's run she motions. with mom's hands half full of Happy Meal paraphanelia "queen" makes her grand exit. unattended. here is mom's tragic error. all is well her exterior says. nothing wrong, let's just act as if "queen" does not hold the sceptor. she won't get too far... derr, wrong move mom.

SCENE TWO
with a stealthy, swift prowess young "queen" saunters along the sidewalk (along the RIGHT side of the building.. keep this in mind) jumps the curb and brings it to a light gait as she enters the ring of traffic. better known as the parking lot. all in front of 3 ladies enjoying lunch at the outside tables. HELLO! TWO YEAR OLD NAVIGATING PARKING LOT! by herself! from their reactions i am guessing they thought this was normal. uhh, no.

SCENE THREE
finally! as if the lightbulb upstairs has become annoyingly bright, out runs mom screaming and flailing (from the LEFT side of the building) only to catch up with "queen" after after crossing the lot. gee, i would think the child throwing a tantrum over a little word we call "no" would be more understandable. obviously mom thought it would be more humorous if she threw the tantrum. hmmm.. talk about pondering the imponderables...

this entire event occurred in less than 3 minutes. i am glad "queen" will live to reign another day, but seriously, she needs to be de-throned.

i have made her a bumper sticker for future incidents. it reads like this:

" acting cool as if nothing is wrong when clearly that is not the case can get your child killed in under 3 minutes. think about it"

what'dya think?